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- If the #2 Pencil is so popular why is it still #2?
- Ok, so what's the speed of dark?
- Why do psychics have to ask for your name?
- Why do they sterlize the needles for lethal injections>
- If a cow laughs hard, does milk come out of its nose?
- The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business.. didn't they see it coming?
- Is it possible for someone to become addicted to therapy? And If so, how would wyou treat them?
- If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing in the store is free yet?
- Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway?
- And if it is misspelled, how would we know?
- Would a fly without wings be called walk?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered hostage situation?
- Why are "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
- Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
- Why is the word abbreviation so long?
- When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
- Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
- Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- He took me from a bar,
He took me in his car.
He took my top off.
He puts his lips on mine,
But don't worry, I'm a bottle of wine!
- What's an average 6 inch long
inside a guy's pants and girls love to blow it up?
A: 1000 Rupees Note
Always think positive!
- In which situation, Do men start sweating
in 10 mins and women want to go and on and on?
think..
think..
SHOPPING
God Bless Your Naughty Mind!
- Smile is the 2nd best thing you do with your lips.
Of course you know the first one...
It's keeping your mouth shut.
But I like the way you think!
- What are three problems about being an egg?
»You only get laid once,
»The only woman to sit on your face is your mother,
»And it takes four minutes to get hard.
- I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh
creating creamy fomy liquid, as it goes in and out
up and down, can't wait till next time
My toothbrush
- Feeling bored?
Open the zip!
Put your hands in between your zip..
and take out your..
books from your bad and start studying.
- A man asked a fairy to make him desirable & irresistible to all women. She turned him into a credit card.
- Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I win!
- Seeing a spider is nothing. It becomes a problem when it disappears.
- Dear Warner Bros: Now that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
- Congratulations!! You are the 100th person to view my status. To see your prize please click Control + W.
- Blonde and Brunette r walking on the road.brunette says “Look, a dead bird.” Blonde looks up in the sky, “WHERE, WHERE?”
- Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
- Scratch here - ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal today’s status?
- Would like to congratulate their parents on having such an awesome daughter-well done!
- When you see a man opening a car door for a woman it can only mean 1 of 2 things. Either the car is new or the wife is.
- Statistics say that 1 in 4 people are insane, so take a look at your 3 best friends and if they are all OK, its you!
- Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.
- I hate weddings. old people would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped when I started going up to them at funerals and poking them, saying, "You're next".
- A murderer was sitting on the electric chair. "Do u have any last requests?" "Yes, will u hold my hand?" XD
- Boy: hey dad I got a girlfriend Dad: Good job son! Girl: Hey daddy I got a boyfriend Dad: *loads shotgun*
- Cops came around to my house today, told me that my dog was chasing someone on a bike, i told them to bugger off, my dog does not own a bike!
- I never get jealous when I see my ex with someone else, because my parents always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate.
- Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you're in Heaven!
- Insert coin to view status message?
- When I was born I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year and a half!
- If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "in jesus name amen".
- Ques: Why do Girls live Longer Than Boys? Ans: Shopping never Causes Heart Attacks, .. But Paying the Bill does.
- Facebook is like Jail, you sit around and waste time, You write on walls and you get poked by people you dont know
- Dear God, please give us back Michael Jackson and in exchange we'll give you Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Bros. Sincerely, Me
- ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.”
